The Environment of Our Homes - Gordon B. Hinckley

The Environment of Our Homes

I absolutely LOVE President Hinckley.   This whole article is one of the most touching things I have ever read.    

I know some of the answers to these problems, but I confess that I do not know all of them. Many of the problems are of our own making. In other cases, they seem to happen notwithstanding all that we do to guard against them. I think of some wonderful people I know. Their older children grew up and were married and went forward with their lives in a way that made the hearts of their parents glad. And then there was a younger son, a bright and able boy. It was the associations he had in high school that moved him in another direction. His hair grew long and his dress unkempt. He did other things which brought great distress to his father and mother. His father was distraught. He scolded and threatened; he wept and prayed and rebuked his son. But there was no response. The boy went his wayward course. His mother also wept and prayed. But she controlled her feelings and kept her voice low. She repeatedly expressed to her son her love for him. He left home. She kept his room tidy, his bed made, food for him in the refrigerator, and she told him that whenever he felt like coming home he would be made welcome.

Months passed while hearts ached.

The love of his mother finally began to touch his heart. He came back occasionally to sleep. Without ever scolding, she smiled, joked with him, placed delicious food before him, put her arms around him, and expressed her love. Finally, be began to show increasing neatness in his person. He stayed home more. He came to realize that there was no other place as comfortable, no place as secure, no place as happy as that home which he had earlier left. He finally got his life under control. He went on a mission, at an age older than most young men do. He proved to be a successful missionary. He returned home, entered school, and began to apply himself. The last time I saw him, he and his mother, each blessed with a good voice, sang a duet while some who knew the history of that family shed tears.

I know of no better way to cultivate a desire to do what is right than to humbly ask for forgiveness from him whose right it is to forgive, and to ask for strength to live above weakness.

What a wonderful thing it is to remember before the Lord those who are sick and in sorrow, those who are hungry and destitute, those who are lonely and afraid, those who are in bondage and sore distress. When such prayers are uttered in sincerity, there will follow a greater desire to reach out to those in need.

There will be increased respect and love for the bishop, for the stake president, for the President of the Church when they are remembered in the prayers of the family.

It is a significant thing to teach children how to pray concerning their own needs and righteous desires. As members of the family kneel together in supplication to the Almighty and speak with him of their needs, there will distill into the hearts of children a natural inclination in times of distress and extremity to turn to God as their Father and their friend.

Let prayer, night and morning, as a family and as individuals, become a practice in which children grow while yet young. It will bless their lives forever. No parent in this Church can afford to neglect it.

The Example of a Faithful Father - Judson H. Flower Jr.

The Example of a Faithful Father

Economic survival during the Great Depression was no easy task. To make ends meet, my father farmed from spring planting through fall harvest, then hauled cattle or coal for a local trucker during the winter months. My mother added to our meager resources by teaching during the school year. As children, my brother and I were largely unaware of these financial difficulties, as our lives were in most respects like those of everyone around us.

By 1940, as the country gradually recovered from the severity of the Depression, my father’s efforts to improve our financial condition began to bear fruit. During the farming season of 1941, he leased a large acreage of land that, aided by ample summer rains, yielded a bounteous crop of field peas. The sale of this crop, he was certain, would enable him to get out of debt and begin the upward climb to financial stability.

When the time for harvest arrived, my father joined a group of farmers who harvested their crops as a team, moving in sequence from one farm to the next. As it happened, my father’s crop of peas was scheduled to be harvested last. When that day arrived, it fell on a Sunday.

I clearly remember a conversation between my mother and father that Saturday evening. It centered on my father’s feeling that as the season was growing late, he should proceed with the harvesting on Sunday, which he would not normally do. He felt that this circumstance was akin to the “ox in the mire” of the Savior’s teachings in the New Testament (see Luke 14:1–6). My mother, who recognized the seriousness of my father’s concern, did not attempt to dissuade him, but it was clear from the look on her face that she was disappointed that he would be harvesting on the Sabbath.

The next morning, my mother, brother, and I got up and dressed to go to church, not expecting my father to attend with us that day. But shortly before we were to leave for the meetinghouse, my father came into the room dressed in his Sunday clothes. We walked together to church and spent the Sabbath in meetings and other appropriate activities.

Later that evening, a terrific hailstorm completely destroyed my father’s crop.

That could have been a severe test of faith for any father. He had honored the Sabbath, expecting that by so doing he would bring down a blessing from heaven—and instead he received a ruinous hailstorm and the financial disaster it brought with it.

My father had always been the most patient man I ever knew. On numerous occasions I observed him when his long hours of labor were frustrated by something beyond his control: a balky animal; a newly repaired machine that broke down again; an irrigation dam washed out by a heavy thunderstorm; or other people failing to do the things they had committed to.

I have observed other men give way to outbursts of temper or profanity or even threats of violence in reaction to some misfortune or supposed injustice. My father’s response, in similar circumstances, was typically to sigh heavily, shrug his shoulders, and start over on whatever task was at hand.

The loss of my father’s pea crop, though far greater in magnitude than other things that had gone wrong, was still met with patience and a firm faith that God had better things in mind for him, which would sooner or later come to pass.

His only observable reaction came after a few weeks of pondering his situation. He decided that he would cease to farm for his livelihood. Instead he enrolled in a training program for mechanics, having always had a natural ability in mechanical skills. Within a few months the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor and the United States entered World War II. My father soon found employment in the wartime aircraft industry, and our family moved to San Diego, California. There, his ability to provide for our family steadily improved through the years.

Though his accumulation of worldly goods was never more than modest, the “things of this world” were never his goal. Moving to San Diego proved to be a great blessing to me—it was there that I met and eventually married my eternal companion. Our life together and our family might never have been, except for my father’s failed pea crop.

I have ever been blessed by the example of a faithful father, and I have striven to emulate and honor that example throughout my life.

Simply Happy - James E. Faust

Simply Happy - James E. Faust

Like so many young people do, when I was young I occasionally dreamed of being rich and famous. I am now grateful that that dream was not realized. My understanding of what success really is has changed over the years of my life. It began to change on my first mission to Brazil over 45 years ago.

One day, my companion and I went out to visit a poor sister who was widowed. In those days there were no stakes or wards in Brazil, only mission districts and branches. Sometimes missionaries looked after the members.

Finally, we arrived at a humble home in a very isolated area. This home had a dirt floor and open windows without any glass. The wind and the flies could come right through. Never before in my life had I been in a home where people live with open windows and a dirt floor. Despite this, the house was clean and neat, curtains were hung, and the boards on the inside of the house were whitewashed. Despite being primitive, the home had a cozy feeling about it. We asked after this poor widow’s health and well-being. She seemed quite happy and contented. We then began to have something of a gospel lesson. She participated freely. We thought that we were the teachers, but it soon became apparent that she knew more than we did. Her faith was deep, and her knowledge of the great eternal truths of where we came from, who we are, and where we are going was very profound.

I had my eyes opened. It was astonishing to hear this sister in these humble circumstances explain the great purposes of God in the grand scheme of the earth and its creation. I was reminded about what James said in his great epistle: “Hath not God chosen the poor of this world rich in faith, and heirs of the kingdom which he hath promised to them that love him?” (James 2:5).

In contrast to this experience, I have seen many who were wealthy who have wasted their talents and energy to a point where their spiritual understanding was dulled. Some were so preoccupied with money and things that they missed the grand purpose of life. I am sure that while poor people did not choose to be poor, often it is within their grasp to know, understand, and enjoy the really important things. So if one does not have all the things of this world one would wish, one can still have and enjoy the rich, satisfying gifts of life and the blessings of God, such as faith, family, and friends.

This poor widow on the outskirts of São Paulo made the most of her straitened circumstances—circumstances that could not easily be changed. She realized that she should not make her life miserable by wishing it were otherwise. We ought always to try to improve on the things that can be improved, but there are some circumstances that cannot be changed. This impoverished woman enjoyed her independence, and she owed no one any money. She was industrious and thrifty. She crocheted beautiful cloths which were sold in the city to satisfy her simple wants, but she was not poor in spirit. She was rich in the things that really matter.

From that experience many years ago, I learned much. I am persuaded that this humble widow who lived in a house with a dirt floor and no panes in the window is an heir to the exaltation of God.

Lets Try Again! Marianne Monson-Burton

Lets Try Again! Marianne Monson-Burton

When our son Nathan turned two and a half, we began using occasional time-outs as a consequence for breaking family rules. I became concerned, however, by the negative feelings my son displayed when a time-out concluded. He often seemed sad and discouraged. As I prayed for a way to make the experience more positive, I felt impressed to say the phrase “Let’s try again.”

After the next time-out, I took my son’s hand and said with enthusiasm, “Let’s try again!” Suddenly the focus shifted away from his negative behavior and centered instead on the opportunity he had to start over. I was amazed at the difference this approach made. Instead of coming out of time-out feeling punished, he was eager to make better choices.

I soon started using the phrase in a multitude of situations. I found myself inviting Nathan in lots of ways: “Let’s try again! This time we can do better. This time we can be gentle” or “This time we can be kind.”

The saying became such a motivator for my son that during a time-out he often called to me, “Mommy, I am ready to try again!”

As I pondered the dramatic effect this simple phrase had on my son, I considered the power contained in the words “Let’s try again!” I realized that God, the Father of us all, does not want us to dwell hopelessly on the mistakes we have made. Instead, He invites us to sincerely repent and focus on a brighter future where we can improve each day. To make repentance possible, God was even willing to offer the life of His Beloved Son. His promise is: “Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool” (Isaiah 1:18).

Watching my son’s renewed determination to do better, I felt a surge of gratitude for a loving Father in Heaven, who is merciful to His children when they repent. I also felt a deep appreciation for the Savior, whose infinite Atonement makes it possible for each of us to say, “Let’s try again!”

Family Followership - Henry B. Eyring

Family Followership - Henry B. Eyring

First, we can introduce our children to the Savior through prayer and the scriptures. They can’t, with their physical eyes, see him leading their family, but they can feel his reality. That means we must do more than teach the mechanics of prayer and more than simply make the scriptures available.

A second part of our children’s world we can control is the happiness and joy they see us exhibit in the Lord’s service. That matters to the young person deciding whether to submit. Is the Master’s burden really light? Is the service joyful? Those questions will be answered for our children in our faces, voices, and actions, probably late on a long, long Sabbath day or in other times of stress, or tragedy.

I never heard my father preach about the “peace that passeth understanding,” but I sensed it in his smile as we went to every church meeting together. If he frowned, it was that I was slow getting ready, not that we were going. I suppose I never considered not going, because I never saw it done. And I saw the peace in his face as we left a hospital an hour after my mother died. He left me and walked back into the hospital ward to thank the nurses and doctors, more concerned for them than for himself. He didn’t say so, but I knew the burden was light only because he trusted the Master. Much as Matthew trusted me.

Elder Mark E. Petersen’s questions suggest the paradox of trying to urge children to a service we do not rejoice in ourselves:

“If the parents do not know the thrill of a clear conscience, can they teach its joy to their little ones?

“If parents have never known the satisfaction which comes through the payment of an honest tithe, can they plant the seeds of obedience to this law in the hearts of their children?

“If parents have never discovered the true value of keeping holy the Sabbath Day, can they teach their children to honor it?

“If parents have never caught the vision of the clean life, can they picture it to the members of their families?

“If parents have never been in the temple, can they teach their children the great advantages of temple marriage?

“If father and mother have given no thought to the meaning of a mission, can they develop in the hearts of their sons and daughters a desire to perform one?

“If parents themselves are not fully converted to the Gospel, can they effectively convert their own children?” (A Faith to Live By [Bookcraft, 1959], pp. 112–13.)

A third experience we can control is giving assignments to our children that will build their faith that Christ does lead human beings who submit to him. With that faith, it will be far easier to believe that dad could be right when he gives an apparently unreasonable direction, after seeking divine help.